My Bloody Valentine
by keeponwritin
Summary: Gordo would do anything for Lizzieeven murder? Rated R for language and violence. Don't say I didn't warn you. :P


[Disclaimer: My Bloody Valentine (the song) is Good Charlotte's. Lizzie McGuire is the Disney Channel's. What's mine? The story, of course.]  
  
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It was fucked up. Lizzie and Ethan. I'd sit, watching them cuddle. He would call her , and she'd giggle flirtatiously. In front of us. In front of everyone. Nearly every day of our 4 years at high school had been spent that way. Miranda thought it was . Cute. It nauseated me, made me sick to my stomach. The envy I felt wasn't worth fighting. I'd wanted Lizzie for so long, and I knew she fell in love with someone else, right in front of my eyes. The worst part was...I knew Ethan really loved her.  
  
_Oh, my love, please don't cry  
I'll wash my bloody hands and  
We'll start a new life  
  
_I watched Ethan through hostile eyes. I couldn't stand it anymore, all the hurt and pain they caused me unknowingly. It was almost Valentine's Day, and I knew Lizzie would be mine. All I needed to do...was get rid of Ethan._  
  
I ripped out his throat  
And called you on telephone to  
Take off my disguise  
Just in time to hear you cry  
  
_I dialed up Lizzie's number. _I wonder if she's found out yet,_ I wondered thoughtfully as the ringing began.  
  
Finally, a shaky, squeaky voice answered,   
  
Hey, Lizzie, I said, cheerfully, How was your date with Ethan?  
  
she sobbed.   
  
What's the matter? D-did something happen? I said, in my best impression of sympathy.  
  
You'd never believe it, Gordo. I still can't believe it. She sniffled a bit. She burst out in another sob. He's dead, Gordo.  
  
Oh my God, Lizzie, I said, feigning shock. I'll be right there.  
_  
When you mourned the death of your bloody valentine  
The night he died  
You mourned the death of your bloody valentine  
One last time_  
  
She sobbed pitifully on my shoulder. God, she was so beautiful. So vulnerable. And she was mine now. To have and to hold, from this day forward. It took great amounts of courage not to kiss her right then and there. Feeling her convulsing beneath me, her breath escaping her mouth in short huffs. Knowing her pain--the pain of a loss. I'd lost her to Ethan. Now she lost Ethan...because of me. But even the pain it caused her did not worry me. It was just another reason to be near her, consoling her. I didn't regret my actions. Things were going to go my way, and I knew it.  
  
Gordo, he's dead. He's...dead, Lizzie said, her voice trembling.   
  
I cooed, placing a finger on her lips. Don't speak. Just rest._  
  
Oh, my love, please don't cry  
I'll wash my bloody hands and  
We'll start a new life  
  
_We sat there for what seemed like hours. Indulging in this moment, the first time I ever got to hold Lizzie. She was mine now, all mine. Nothing and no one could ever change that. Not even if they wanted to. I can't remember not loving her. I'd always wanted her, but she couldn't bare to think outside the box, to think of me as more than a friend. But she would know. I'd show her that I was more than just Gordo. She liked me way back when. I could rekindle that flame, by showing her how caring I was. Nothing could stop me now._  
  
I don't know much at all  
I don't know wrong from right  
All I know is that  
I love you tonight  
  
_A police car, sirens blaring and lights flashing, whizzed by the house, causing Lizzie to bawl even more. Much to my surprise, she finally spoke again.  
  
she said as I savored the sound of her voice. We should...go down there So far, my plan wasn't going the way I hoped. She was still crying over Ethan, when she should've been realizing what's right underneath her nose--me. How could I stop her, though, without using physical force? I forced out whatever first came to my head.  
  
Lizzie, do you really want to see Ethan's dead body? God, that was a mistake. Now she'd hate me.  
  
But instead of erupting in another episode of sobs, she looked me in the eye.  
  
my heart raced. do you think they'll think I did it? she said, sniffling.  
  
A bolt of lightning struck down nearby, the thunder so deafening it shook the entire house.  
  
Damn. I never thought of that. Lizzie would go to jail, she'd never realize her true feelings for me, and we'd both live miserably ever after. So my plan could fail...but dammit, I wouldn't let it. Even if I had to frame some poor sucker, I'd win. I always won._  
  
There was...police and flashing lights  
The rain came down so hard that night  
The headlines read A Lover Died  
No tell-tale heart was left to find  
  
_ she repeated. Are you okay?  
  
That's why I loved Lizzie. The supposed love of her life was just brutally murdered, but she asked me if I was okay. She was the nicest person I'd ever met. When others would've laughed at the dorky kid who tripped down the stairs, she would help him up. Her infectious smile was all I needed to brighten my own day.   
  
That's why it ate me up inside when she started going out with Ethan. He was an idiot, not worthy of any girl, much less my own Lizzie McGuire. We never hung out anymore. I never got to see that beautiful face anymore. Maybe deep down, I was happy that she was happy. But I didn't feel it.  
  
I had a feeling Ethan had taken Lizzie's virginity. But more than that, he'd taken her innocence. It was her insecurities that prohibited her from being popular. And when that was gone...what reason was there for her to stay with me? I was a nobody, she was the girl everybody wanted. Liking her was hell. But it was worth it. It was all worth it._  
  
When you mourned the death of your bloody valentine  
The night he died  
You mourned the death of your bloody valentine  
One last time  
  
_Gordo, are you okay? she asked again, more urgently this time. I sat still, staring off into space, thinking. She shook my shoulders.   
  
I woke up.  
  
I'm fine, I said harshly. Realizing the bitter tone of my words, I softened it down a bit. I mean, I'm okay, how about you?  
  
I'm fine. She sniffled. But I still can't believe any of this. I can't deal with this...Ethan dying, and...and... she said, as she began to cry once more.  
  
Besides Lizzie's occasional snivel, we sat there in peace and quiet for a few minutes. Her head on my shoulder; my head tilted towards hers.  
  
Lizzie pulled herself away and looked me in the eye._  
  
_Gordo, you're the best friend I ever had. That little voice inside my head suddenly gave me that urge. I'd put this off for far too long. I wanted her so bad...  
  
So I kissed her. Her lips were warm and glossy against mine, The most amazing thing of all, she kissed me back. I knew this was finally it...I had Lizzie. Her boyfriend just died a few hours ago, and I had her already. This was it, our happily-ever-after kiss. No need to cry anymore.   
_  
Oh, my love, please don't cry  
I'll wash my bloody hands and  
We'll start a new life  
  
_In the vast jumble of my thoughts, I hadn't noticed Lizzie's little hands pushing against my chest, trying to force me off of her. All I could think was, _What the hell?  
  
_Lizzie, what's the matter? I asked, as I gently stroked her face.  
  
This is so wrong, Gordo, she said, tears rolling down her cheeks once more.  
  
How is it wrong, Lizzie? I said, softly and carefully, as if I was talking to a little child.  
  
Because...because I don't love you! I still love Ethan, Gordo... She looked me once again in the eye. I'm sorry.  
_  
I don't know much at all  
I don't know wrong from right  
All I know is that  
I love you tonight...tonight.  
  
_I couldn't take this anymore. Everything was about Ethan. Ethan this and Ethan that...everyday for the past 6 years has been spent this way. It had to change and I'd make it change even if it killed me.  
  
Damnit, Lizzie! I screamed as I got up. Ethan's DEAD, okay? You need to get OVER it!  
  
What's your problem, Gordo? she said, as she stood up to face me, her eyes still swollen and bloodshot. My boyfriend of four years just died and you don't seem to give a fuck!  
  
Maybe I don't! I yelled. Maybe I'm in love with you, did you ever think about that?! I tried to keep up my angry facade, but inside, I was crying. I had always imagined the first time I told Lizzie I loved her...to just be a little more romantic.  
  
she said, quietly, looking down. Then, she looked up. That still doesn't give you the right to come over and act like a jerk to me! Ethan just died, don't you have ANY compassion?  
  
NO, I don't! You know why? Because I killed him, Lizzie! I murdered Ethan Craft! And I did because I love you, and you were screwing up my life! She stood there in a state of shock, her mouth hanging open. I continued on, explaining every detail of that night to her...  
_  
He dropped you off   
I followed him home  
Then I stood outside his bedroom window  
Standing over him he begged me not to do  
What I knew I had to do  
Cause I'm so in love with you  
  
_ she began. She sobbed. You asshole, she whispered.  
  
I did this for us, damnit! Can't you appreciate anything I do? My voice was much more calm now.   
  
Without a word spoken, she ran to the kitchen, grabbed the phone and dialed 911. I walked calmly but quickly towards her.   
  
she said, shakily. Yes, I'd like to report.. I ripped the phone out of the wall. Hello? Hello, is anyone there? She turned around. Get away from me! she shrieked.  
  
Listen, Lizzie, I just want to love you. Why can't you just love me back? I said, the temper once again rising to my voice.   
  
I SAID, GET AWAY FROM ME! she yelled again.  
_  
Oh, my love, please don't cry  
I'll wash my bloody hands and  
We'll start a new life  
  
_Can't we just sit down and talk about this? I pouted.   
  
Get out of my house, she whispered softly. Please...leave. It's the least you could do.  
  
I responded. The very least I could do is love you. And the least you could do, after all these years of ignoring me, is love me back, you ungrateful bitch, I said as I walked sternly towards her._  
  
_I came inches from her before suddenly, she went into the drawer next to her and pulled out a gun. She held it out in front of her, aiming for me.  
  
You come any closer and I swear to God, I'll kill you, she said, her voice still nervous but clearly trying to hide that fact.  
  
Lizzie, you don't know what the hell you're doing. I love you and I never intended to hurt you.  
  
She pulled the trigger. And a split second later, a bullet was lodged in my chest. And I died, right there in Lizzie's kitchen. Everything I wanted was now a shallow memory of the past. I lay there, cold and lifeless.   
  
But you did, she said to my dead body, before crying once more and grabbing the phone to once again call 911._  
  
I don't know much at all  
I don't know wrong from right  
All I know is that  
I love you tonight.  
  
_I'll never forget that fateful night. Maybe Lizzie never would've loved me. Maybe she would've. Maybe she would've broken up with Ethan the next day, and I'd have my chance then. Maybe we could've gotten married and had children and lived our whole lives together. Maybe I didn't have to die.  
  
I guess I'll never know.  
  
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[A/N: So, did you like it? I've honestly been writing this for almost 2 months now. I love Good Charlotte and this just seemed like a very cool story idea. I reread this and I think it seemed a little rushed, so I think it's better if you read it slowly, LoL.   
  
Here's a question to think about: where do you think Gordo went after he died...heaven or hell? (I'm thinking heaven. I mean, he was a good person all his life, but he just happened to make a few bad decisions towards the end. Plus, he was obviously insane and not thinking straight.)  
  
So I really hope you didn't think this story sucked. Let me know what you think, PLEASE REVIEW! Thanks.]


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